Growing Pains

My new mornings

2011-04-14T07:43:00.000-05:00

One thing I know about myself, I won't workout if I don't have someone pushing me to do it.

So what do I do? That's right, join a bootcamp....an early one! And it is actually fantatic! So here is my new morning routine. I wake up at about 5 AM and stay there until about 6:30 AM. When I get home, my fantastic husband has eggs, toast, and coffee waiting for me. I sit and eat while I catch up on overnight e-mails and facebook. Then, I sit down for some one-on-one time with God. It is so fantastic!! I absolutely love that my life is finally feeling some balance!

With my new devotional time, I've been learning soooo much! I'm doing a study on cultivating contentment. This has really brought to mind the fact that I'm NOT content unless I'm shopping or eating out or doing what I want to do. I have given up on what I know that God wants me to do and started solely focusing on what I want. This is not okay. Where did that girl who was on fire for God and wanted to do His will only? I'm going to find her again!

"How long is your to-do list, your shopping list, or your wish list?"
"Ask for satisfaction SO that I can sing praise to God!"
"You were made for more than this world has to offer you. Our yearnings, longings, cravings, and hopes are telling us something: there isn't enough love, peace, hope, friendship, and intimacy on this earth to completely satisfy us. We will always want more."

Tomorrow I dig deeper, ponder & pray, and find trinkets to treasure.

**Start a fire in me, let the flames run free. Burn away the dross, Holy fire of God. Let it begin, let it be new, let me used for you sake bringing glory to your name. I can live knowing that you, reside in my heart, oh Lord you are a fire**

The yard

2010-11-08T21:26:00.000-06:00

So, today was my first day with my new staff. Needless to say, we have a lot to work on! I am by no means impressed by what I saw, but we'll work on it. I also got to drive the bus some today. My trainer told me that I'm doing a really good at driving! I even parallel parked and drove the bus to go get the kids! WOW!! Well, I'm really excited to make this center rock and get on track!! Anyways...that was my first day. Much to process, will report more later!

The Growing part

2010-11-01T18:03:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about growing up. I am the youngest of 4 sisters and at times, it seems like the only one with my crap all together. My sisters are having to face hard life decisions right now and I firmly believe that it is because they've been stuck in the immature stage for so long.

I, myself, have been doing some growing lately. The adult part of me has moved into management in the childcare field. It was a tough decision because I had to choose money or future benefits. Right now, we really need the money (so I guess you know which one won?). I've also realized something about our devotion to the people we love. Since moving out here, we've made several trips out to visit other people. The reciprocated visits have been very few. That makes me think about our value to those of us around us. Not in the "poor me" way, but in the way of what are they willing to sacrifice to keep in contact with us. For a while, we were driving about 150 miles just on Saturday and Sunday....that got old really quickly.

We've also been debating some decisions we made when we were first married. We decided we would wait until we were done with school to have children. Well, there are some hurdles we have encountered with this decision. First, I really love kids and want them reaaaalllll soon. Second, I am an adult and I realize that right now I work 40 hours a week and do school the other waking hours. This does not leave much time for a child. And, I would not want to bring a child into this situation, it just isn't fair to that sweet baby.

Anyways, I think these things have just needed to be written. They've been weighing on my heart and I know that writing helps alleviate those things.

Well, onward and upwards!

P.S. I'm really excited about my new job!!

Being a Veg - Day 1

2010-07-06T13:13:00.000-05:00

This new direction in my blog is more for my benefit than anyone else's. I want to be able to track my new path in this journey of life.

Today, I made the choice to become a vegetarian. I'm not doing it because I think meat is BAD, or because I'm joining the PETA movement. I'm doing it because I think it's healthy for you. I want to see what the benefits are of a vegetarian lifestyle.

So here goes. The journey began this morning and I am more excited than anything. I'm excited to see the recipes I can find and what I can make. We have decided to be ovo-lacto pescatarians. That means we eat eggs, milk, and fish (mainly Ryan 'cause I still am not a fan of fish). After grocery shopping today, I feel like I have more options and am not restricted by my new choice at all.

That's all for now (mainly because my cat keeps screaming at me since Ryan left).

-G

Mediocrity

2008-12-21T20:33:00.000-06:00

By definition, this word means moderate ability or value. It's rooted in the word mediocre which means of low quality, value, ability, or performance. AND I'M SICK OF IT. I'm tired of mediocre marriages, mediocre lives, mediocre Christians. It makes me sick. And you know what??? I'm one of those Christians who has become complacent!! Why?? Because it's easier. I don't have to hear anyone telling me that what I'm doing is wrong, or risk losing any friends because I tell them the truth about their actions. I'm done with mediocre. Starting today I'm done. I will hold tight to the truths that God has placed in me. I will no longer willingly allow a friend or colleague to sin and sit there and watch. Jesus wasn't mediocre. I have no excuse for it. There is no point in it either. You get nothing and you give nothing to the God that deserves so much. IT'S UNACCEPTABLE!!!! Plain and simple. Mediocre is missing the mark and without grace we would all be hell bound. Praise God for His forgiveness and grace that he pours out on us even when we are undeserving swine. Praise God!!!

Growing Pains, the Spiritual Version

2008-12-20T10:32:00.000-06:00

So...I'm realizing that God still has tons to do in me. I'm realizing that I have to find out how Jesus views leadership and to do it His way. I'm done doing leadership the way I've always viewed it. It's now time to do things the way that Jesus did. So here's what I've learned in the last 24 hours or less. I've learned that expectations are everything. That my expectations for other people are too high and that leads to me being disappointed in them. The result of that is this, I tend to stop liking the person and that is not acceptable. I need to rearrange my expectations of others and in some cases get rid of them altogether. This would make me more effective in ministry, more useable for God, and a better person in general. It won't happen overnight, but this is my new task. To love well while I change me expectations of others. It won't be easy, but it must be done. God is great and he will supply all my needs.

A long awaited blog

2008-09-14T03:17:00.000-05:00

So life has changed drastically for me. I just started back to school (which I'll hopefully graduate from in December of 2009! woot) and I'm also working at the same time. It's been a while since I've done both, and add the whole being married to someone who works over 50 hours a week to that and you've got my life. I love it and am totally blessed, but I miss the calm...maybe one day it'll relax....

--NOW--
Church is changing...we're moving, people are leaving, and I'm still here and not freaking out...

Well it's late and i'm off to bed...
luv

Mawwaige

2008-04-08T13:17:00.000-05:00

It is what brought us together on February 29, 2008. It has been amazing. Not saying that we haven't fought, but we've survived and it's amazing!! I love my husband...that is all for now.

Walls

2007-03-18T20:27:00.000-05:00

So, here they go, up up and away!! Well minus the away part. They are going up though. There is one thing that I've always been supicious of...when I give people 100% of my trust and they give back less. If I'm going to trust someone with everything then I expect that back. If that isn't returned, then I start to wonder why. So some walls are going up, but my walls are different than everyone elses. I can take them down anytime I want to (I know what you're thinking...a drunk can stop drinking anytime he wants to right?? but this is for real). I've been through this so many times alone that I know when it's safe and when it's not. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm backing off from you because I probably am. I love you all dearly, I just need this.

On another note....Ryan and I tried The Branch today and we both really liked it. I think we're going to go back and join their pre-marital class. It was kinda like a blast from the past because I saw a bunch of people that I knew way back when there. I really liked it, I'm just waiting to hear the thoughts of my amazing future husband.

.....I'm also working on becoming one with God (and with Ryan --> spiritually) which is hard because I'm acutally having to submit. Please pray that I can make this transition so that we will have a Godly marriage and future together.

Starting out

2007-03-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

This will be a place where I will write what I can't elsewhere. Everyone else has a myspace and a facebook so nothing you write there remains there. Only those that I trust with my deepest darkest thoughts will be allowed to enter into this sanctum. That's it for now, just a little starter. If you're reading please read with patience and understanding because this is the outcry of my heart.