Walls

So, here they go, up up and away!! Well minus the away part. They are going up though. There is one thing that I've always been supicious of...when I give people 100% of my trust and they give back less. If I'm going to trust someone with everything then I expect that back. If that isn't returned, then I start to wonder why. So some walls are going up, but my walls are different than everyone elses. I can take them down anytime I want to (I know what you're thinking...a drunk can stop drinking anytime he wants to right?? but this is for real). I've been through this so many times alone that I know when it's safe and when it's not. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm backing off from you because I probably am. I love you all dearly, I just need this.

On another note....Ryan and I tried The Branch today and we both really liked it. I think we're going to go back and join their pre-marital class. It was kinda like a blast from the past because I saw a bunch of people that I knew way back when there. I really liked it, I'm just waiting to hear the thoughts of my amazing future husband.

.....I'm also working on becoming one with God (and with Ryan --> spiritually) which is hard because I'm acutally having to submit. Please pray that I can make this transition so that we will have a Godly marriage and future together.